I gave up a bit, or said that it really doesn't matter this much. Until I read a short note that reminded me of the committment I've started myself. Then I thought why don't I quit quitting at least the one thing I cannot quit?! It should take from me whatever it takes to be set free. As a matter of fact, keeping it running is the true aim. It doesn't have to be felt or even understood all the time, but it has to exist. So I won't let it die since I can. And I can and I'm back. My sincere thanks to the short note!