Sunday, November 20

#83: Days...

It has been two days. They seem like a lifetime. And I refuse to make them longer! I'm trying to persist...


"There's no right or wrong, there's only public opinion.
There's also common sense!

Things are totally messed up everywhere around me. And I'm afraid we're going back to there. Yes, it has been almost a year and it's not over yet. But these things take time, and it's good to take time, because things that come quickly collapse in no time! And we're fighting for a change that is to remain forever. But the pattern of how things go on is scary. It keeps going up and down so frequently and sometimes we don't go up at all, but we go more to the down! And we keep going down and entering critical sections, but then we recover, for a while, and step up a few steps but then we step down again and even more and more down. Till when we'll be swinging? When will everything be stable again going in a straight line that is moving upwards?! I believe this will come soon enough, and we'll be happy again! All we've to do is to persist, think well, have some patience, trust each other and never, never, stop praying.

You know what I have been thinking of ?!
I have thought of miracles. Oh, how I wish for a miracle to happen right now. A miracle that can save us all from ourselves. But such a miracle can never happen; well at least we can never wait and expect it happen. If you want a miracle, go and get it, make it happen! The only bad thing about this is that it wouldn't be called a miracle then. But the fact is that you are the miracle, if you have manged to make a miracle happen!
I have thought of  writing a letter. But to who? I have no one to send it to. Maybe I might write a letter to a random person. But what would I say to this random person, what do I want him to know or to do?! But I'd like to write a random letter, and maybe sign it "anonymous", put it in a bottle and throw in the sea. What do you think?
I have thought of starting over. Starting over everyday. Everyday is a chance to start new, like a new person, if only you can break free from the jails of yesterday, from the failures of yesterday. Like you lose your memory and just have the guts to try again, once more, as if it's your very first trial, with the pure faith that it will work from the very first time. And you just go for it courageously, not cautiously. Believe me, it will work one day, if you just keep on trying everyday with the same enthusiasm and passion like that of the first day.   
And I have also thought of where do I stand in this life. Where do I stand in the life of the people around me? Well, where do I stand in my own life?!! Where do I stand? Where am I and what do I do? It's like I have amnesia and I can no longer remember Who I am!! Things have been messed up inside me too, aren't they?

Maybe I shouldn't be here saying all of this, but I'm here because I want to change and be different. Because who I am sometimes -well most of the time- irritates me and begs me for a change. I recall a lyrics from a song: "I'm not calling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice. Give me reason but don't give me choice, cause I'll just make the same mistake again!" It feels like me, this piece of the song. It feels like it is a common state.

Persist and keep working. Don't stop believing. Don't stop dreaming. And don't you ever stop praying! =)

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