Tuesday, January 31

#109: Pushy person

It happens to a lot of people, different people. Denial. They say grief has many faces, one of them is denial. You may spend a whole day hiding behind a mask of happiness, like you can take in as much as the world might give you, like you can do everything that can be done in this whole world. But, then something happens to break you. It may be something too strong and deep that it has the ability to awaken the rage that is within you. Or it may be a pushy person pushing you to speak and talk, and keeps reminding you of how sad you actually should be.

It usually comes at the end of the day, the breaking down, after you get deeply tired, tired of holding that mask on your face, tired of how hard you have worked to prove that you can take in the cruel world you may be living in, tired of draining your physical and emotional energy away of you, and tired of that pushy person beside you begging you to talk and speak. Then when you do, speak up and say what's truly on your mind and in your heart, you get opposed and faced, by this exact same pushy person, and this cruel hard life you're living in, with the reality of how sad you should really be, of how hard it is to take some time and figure it out, of the essentiality for some time to grief. Yes, grief. What you should have not denied at the first place. Thanks to the pushy person in your life, and thanks to the fact that we get tired and emotionaly exhausted.

You can run, but you may never hide. You were just running, just as fast as you can.

For you: Dear readers, I'm sorry that I haven't been here lately. And that I come back with a kind of a sad post. I'm sorry, and my apology should mean something to you, even if that is what you've got used to expect from me. I'm sorry, I just want to set everything right, again.

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