Monday, February 6

#111: As I'm getting a year older...

Just when I thought I was over it. Just when I thought I was strong enough to handle this. Just when I thought everyone had forgotten about it and that I hadn't to fight anymore. Just when I decide to let go. Surprise Surprise. It's still there; it's not actually as I thought it had turned out to be.

Like you're already running late, so you're running as fast as you could and you hardly arrive on time, but you do, you mange to arrive just exactly on time, but then it takes you forever to park your car. So eventually and in everyone's eyes you are late, too late!

Dreams do come true, sometimes earlier than you have hoped for, but that you don't get to realize, and sometimes later than what you wish for, and that you realize thoughtfully and regretfully. You're not happy as you thought you'd be, simply because you're not sure that it is what you've been really dreaming of. You get lost and undetermined about it, the whole of it. You have changed, your heart has changed. Maybe you've missed your chance, maybe it has missed its chance of staying in your life, or in your dreams.

But you wait. You wait and you accept that it's finally truly and really in your life, and you do your best to dream it again, to love the idea of it once more. You keep a positive attitude and accept the surprise that life has given you. And you try to get the best that fits you out of it.

That's life simply... It gives you lemons, you make a lemonade, even when you haven't wished for a lemonade and even that a lemonade is not what you are dreaming of right now. Maybe eventually you'll learn that that lemonade was the best that could be given to you. But it wouldn't be the best unless you make it the best and as tasty as you love.

Again it's your choice, your life, your game.

Note: After twenty two years, I'm not sure I'm exactly where I have always dreamed to be. It looks like it, almost the same. But it doesn't feel like it, at all!! Did I go wrong somewhere before? Is that the best lemonade I can make out of the lemons given to me? Sometimes I doubt, and sometimes I belive I've done my best and doing my hard best. I'm a pretty normal human being. And I'm not too worried. I'm grateful. Happy Birthday to me... :)



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