Saturday, December 29

#151: On the new year I'd say...

Now that it's only three days left for this year to end and a new year begins, I can tell that it has been a rapid year. It has been exactly how I predicted it. A year full of events, a very busy one. It has passed too quickly that I honestly can't remember what had I exactly done. I know I did a lot, I know I've been through a lot. I know I have had many random and conflicting feelings and thoughts about myself, my life, and my surrounding. And I'm sure I have learned a lot, or so I hope. I'm still learning though.
See, I don’t actually consider this restart of the days counter as a stop and replay of life. Life goes on. That's a fact no one can change. Life is playing live and I have to pace with it. I can't stop now. So I don’t know what to tell you. Because all days have been the same, and all the coming days will also be the same.
Yet I know I have achieved. Indeed I've witnessed a new beginning for my life; a kind of. I've grown up a year, I have acquired more knowledge than the year before, and I've had new experiences that I never tried before. The quantity isn't a factor to count on, for even if I had only learned one lesson in a whole year, I'd still become a different person. And the world around me have changed too, people have changed as well. It doesn't really matter if things have changed to the better or the worse, for they'll change back. That's reasonable. Change is the only constant and change will always occur.
Yet my hopes are very high for the coming year. That change will be on my side. That all my dreams that I haven't run after yet will be achieved. That I'll witness a brighter beginning for my life. However, change starts from within. I must do what I'm anticipating for.
My status quo for the coming year is anticipation for brighter days like the way I anticipate for the coming day before I sleep at night everyday.
New beginnings deserve to be celebrated.  But only when they are true new beginnings, not when we label them to give them the illusion of new beginnings. I came to disbelieve in celebrating birthdays or new years or special days. All these things that give you an illusionary reason for happiness. Maybe we do need these illusions of happiness to handle the burden of life. But the minute everything returns to its origin is like falling from the moon. Save yourself this pain and don't fall to the deception of happiness.
Life is happening every day. So every day could possibly turn into a new beginning.
Happy new year.
Happy new days.
Happy life.
With all the love in the world,
Salma

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