And what hurts me the most is that I'll have to start all over again from the beginning. Like all the past years never existed. Maybe loosing my memory would help. At least I wouldn't be knowing that I have previously tried and failed.
All I need is to find Hope again. To live and anticipate for something, something specific and beautiful, that will happen soon.
فصبر جميل ... الحمد لله رب العالمين