Friday, November 28

#203: I'm not there yet

I'm running away. I don't feel as liberated as I might seem. I haven't yet gotten out of my prison. Not even close. And I'm running away from facing my fears. I don't want to think much, and I'm happy that I'm busy working all the time. I can't even recognise if I am really enjoying work, or am I just finding excuses to escape the heart ache that I might be experiencing. I'm afraid I'm faking strength and control. I am actually weaker and more vulnerable than ever before. I am just saying, that I am still not honest with myself. I still need to heal, and I'm still not on the right path of healing. I'm deeply frustrated, and I'm re-giving back this pretended control.

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