I want to write how useless I feel, how insecure, how sad, how fearful, how uncertain, how disappointed, how desperate, how furious, and how angry I am. I want to let it all out. I want these feelings to get resolved, once and for all. I don't want to feel this negativity ever again.
Yes, I blame you for all of this. I blame you for messing up my life. But, I am confidently taking the full responsibility of fixing myself. I know I am better than you. I am better than my current self. I am better than what I think I am. I just need to see it clearly.
I need to remove that fog you have created trying to take over my feelings. I am sorry I unconsciously gave you such a power. I am sorry I loved you. And I am trying as hell to accept this mistake I made by loving you more than myself. I can't help forgiving myself at the current state, but I am working on it. I am working on it. And I will never ever again give up on myself. I am a lot better. Better than what you think, better than what I think, and even better than whatever and whoever thinks.